OPENING RECEPTION
Thursday, 27th November 2014 | 7 – 9p
The last few years have been weird ones, ones where I
seemed to always be looking over my shoulder into my own past. I’ve
sometimes felt that my tendency to jump into a medium or a body of work
and then, given a couple short years – but sometimes as abruptly
as only one month – bounce into yet another just as blindly, were
all just ways of flushing out, indulging and then rejecting parts of
myself. But those rejected parts, rejected bodies, rejected selves even,
always seem to come back and haunt the next directions and projects
and interests I eventually barge into. I don’t know what you would
call that. Continuity through the backdoor perhaps.
Certainly the two years it took to archive and see through
a number of exhibitions of the painter Tony Greene’s work was
a way of not only paying back an old debt to a dear old dead friend
but was also a way of checking back in with the 29 year old self I was
at the time of Tony’s death. Perhaps everyone does this –
and even on an everyday level – but for me, an artist who happens
to be engaged in therapy almost as long as I’ve considered myself
an artist, this self-archaelogizing has become the immutable (yet always
mutable, I guess – that’s probably the point) core of the
practice.
For this exhibition, I’ve let myself wallow in a
very formative yet cracked-off bit of myself and my own practice that
is now a full 3 decades old. Who and what I found was an incredibly
depressed (which has always seemed the primary reason I wanted to disengage
and forget him) though quite precocious and driven 23 year old who was
in the midst of inventing the – also, admittedly, often quite
incredibly depressed – artist I would eventually become.
This younger, alienated (and even alienated from my own
later self – that also is the point) self is primarily represented
in the exhibition by the 26 page work-on-paper “Still Ill: An
illuminating manuscript”. One should be able to tell, at least
by the title, the effect that the first album of The Smiths (also 1984)
had on me at the time but also, through my attempts at relentlessness,
repetition and extreme cabin-fevered pessimism in the piece’s
language, the influence of the first English translations of Thomas
Bernhard. Less obvious, though, are the effects of Tom Lawson’s
“Last Exit: Painting” on a (granted, incredibly naïve)
young artist wrestling with (in the midst of a part of the country,
Texas, which is somewhat known for its conservative isolationism and
at a school, U.T. Austin, where Painting, with a capital P, was taught
without the merest hint of contemporary criticality) how to make his
own work “smarter”. The solution, embarrassing (though hopefully
quite charming) to admit, was that if painting was dead, as Lawson seemed
to indicate, to fill up the picture’s rectangle with “information”,
albeit of a very self-deprecatingly narcissistic – or one could
even say, superegoical … or superegotistical – form of glossolalia
or graphomania.
A couple of other things to point out that would become
important much later: The first is that the pages of Still Ill, though
consisting principally of writing, were my first serious attempts at
collage. Even at this early stage the fetishistic – or almost
sacrificial aspect – of the collage elements were crucial. I seemed
to have never thought of a magazine page as just readily available /
easily replaceable detritus symbolizing the glut of popular culture
but, instead, as objects “charged” in some way, ultra-important
in that these were personally favorite pictures – either cut from
the pages of my favorite porno magazines or caught, with some great
degree of patience, determination and labor, with a polaroid from the
favorite moments – or one could even say the most personally ecstatic
moments, the “cum-triggers as it were” – of my favorite
porn and mainstream videos. Severed from their revered place in my stash
of masturbation materials, these treasures carried with them, for me,
a kind of devotional quality.
Though I’ve never spoken of these early works, or
indeed even thought of them in the following manner, now – with
some great distance – I have begun to remember that not only was
1984 the summer of the first Smiths album, of my own infatuation with
Bernhard, of some vain attempts to make an artistic practice out of
something “more engaged” than painting, it was – in
Austin at least, where I was living at the time – the first (I’ve
rewritten this several times trying to make it less auspicious …
but it was, seriously, so incredibly auspicious that I have –
for decades now – put it completely out of my mind) summer of
the epidemic and the first deaths of close friends and lovers.
I have been calling the new paintings in the exhibition
from 2014 gifts … quirky, odd, slightly raunchy and hopefully
very joyfully and gaily painted presents sent back in time with the
following note:
“Dear 23 year old me,
Lighten the fuck up, sweetcheeks. I’d like to say things get
better – but they don’t really. At least not for a long
long while. If you can keep from throwing yourself off a bridge between
now and then though there will someday be this amazing invention called
anti-depressants. I suggest you take as many as your little heart
desires. But otherwise, if you stick it out you can look forward to
meeting amazing friends you’ll love and cherish much more than
family, mountains of books to dig into, pervy old men to teach you
how to be just like them, loose boys to chase all over the globe…
And besides that much much much more porn, gallons and gallons more
poppers and some incredible drug trips you’ll be far from happy
if you miss out on. So just ease up and enjoy it if you can.
Much love little buddy, Take care – You at 53.
PS: You do realize you just turned yourself into pretty much of a
half-decent writer though. Don’t you?
PPS: Oh, and painting. Have yourself a field day – who the fuck
cares?”
In putting together this show though, I’ve also
indulged that other particular passion of mine – call it “research”
if you will – but I prefer to look at it as honoring a few of
influences over these past 30 years, paying back even more old debts
in the sense that, obviously, being influenced by becomes a very complicated
mirror for (re)casting new reflections back onto the self. So, the chance
to dig into the Estate of William S. Burroughs and find his remarkable
alterations of homely office supplies, to work closely with the Tom
of Finland Foundation to unearth some of his lesser-known “reference
file” collages and to make even the slightest nod toward the idol
that is Cerith Wyn Evans serve as a kind of faggot patrimony for a self
that’s always been made up of a matrix of directions to head toward
and permissions derived from inspirational predecessors.
The inclusion of Isa Genzken’s collage book was
fortuitous. It’s own recently come to light from within Isa’s
archive but I can think of no greater gay man to pattern myself after
other than Isa herself.
— Richard Hawkins, November 2014
I would like to thank Yuri from the Estate of William
S. Burroughs and Durk and Sharp from the Tom of Finland Foundation.

WILLIAM S. BURROUGHS
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TOM OF FINLAND
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CERITH WYN EVANS
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ISA GENZKEN
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RICHARD HAWKINS
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Galerie
Buchholz
November 27, 2014 - January 27, 2015
Fasanenstraße 30, 10719 Berlin ·
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